7 Unique Ways to Banish Your Child's Negativity about Chores

Are your kids reluctant to participate in chores? Do you have to nag your kids to do the most basic of chores? Some parents feel that the battle is not worth it. They prefer to do the chores themselves rather than having to nag their kids to do them every day. Don’t!

Chores are important for all kids. It teaches them responsibility and creates a stronger connection to the family and home. However, when chores become a fight, it’s time to employ ways to help kids feel positive about maintaining their home.

Here are some effective ways to help encourage your children and create a cooperative environment for chores.

1) Examine your feelings about maintaining your home

Kids pick up very quickly on the feelings that you and your spouse give off about your home. If you and your spouse have a negative attitude about keeping the house clean, your kids will immediately sense this. They will sense that chores are boring and not something to feel positive about.

However, if you take pride in your home and feel happy to have it organized and running smoothly, your kids will feel this. They will be more willing to participate in the running of the home.

2) Share your home with others

Show your kids that your home is a blessing and that you share this blessing with others. Create a positive environment and open your home. Show your kids that you are proud of them and want to share your wonderful home and family with others. This sends an incredibly positive message to our children and they will want to be part of this special feeling. This will also make them feel more positive about maintaining the home

3) Create a set time to do chores every day and have everyone do them together

This is an incredibly powerful way to have children willingly participate. A good time is before or after dinner when kids know that they are required to join the family effort. Make it a device-free time and do not answer the phone during chore time. It is easier to participate in chores at a set time than interrupting an activity later to do a chore.

In addition, when everyone participates it can be a pleasant family time and it is easier to see the fruits of your labor when everyone’s efforts result in a clean organized home.

4) Create a pleasant environment

Put on some fast paced music to get the ball rolling. If possible, create a routine where the family can move from one room to the other together. This can be a time to enjoy each other’s company and laugh together. It also makes the time go quickly. When the family works together, they can complete most chores in less than an hour.

5) Having your kids take pride in their home is a whole package

When kids feel that they are valued, and what they do is valued, they will feel secure in their home. lf your kids are apathetic about keeping your home neat and participating in it’s maintenance, check to see how your kids are feeling at home. Kids need to feel that they are contributing to something that they belong to, not just a cleaning crew.

Adolescents can have difficulty with peers and establishing their identity. Many are self involved and may not initially feel happy about contributing at home. Check in with your child and see if you can help him/ her navigate some of the difficulties he/she may be facing. Let him/her know that adolescence is a confusing time for everyone but you will be there to support him/ her no matter what happens. Let him/ her know that they are truly valued and that he/she will always be valued. You may not want to address the chore issue just yet, but at a later time you can also let him/ her know that his/her contributions are valued and his/her efforts really keep the house going.

6) Have discussions with your kids

Talk to kids about the value of family, the value of a home and family and the lifelong loyalty that family has for each other

Many basic messages that we think our kids are naturally getting are not so clear. Peer and media pressure to be a certain way or act a certain way does not necessarily mesh with family values.

Today parents have to work harder to get this message across and have to create experiences that help a child to internalize timeless values that are not always clear in today’s world.

7) Create excitement about chores

Make a list on the refrigerator or command center that shows the job of every child, each day. If your kids like doing certain jobs and not others, you can have each child keep the same job each day. Some kids like to switch each day or each week. If you can accommodate these small changes, you may get a big boost in cooperation.

If you have an artistic child s/he can illustrate the chart or have your kids draw or find pictures of each chore.

You can also pair up with your children to do the job more quickly and use the time to chat with your child. Young children, in particular, will be more willing to participate if you work together with them. This will set the stage for cooperation as they get older.

Even if your older children have not participated, you can bring them into the chore inner circle. Do not be discouraged by your child’s negativity. Send the message that every child is essential to the family, their participation adds to the running of the home. Together you are creating a home that the family can enjoy and feel secure in together, as well as share your blessings with others.

Appreciation Comes from Participation

If after you have implemented all of the above ideas and your child continues to show reluctance and negativity, sit down with your child. Look him/her in the eye and let him/her know that you really need his/her participation. Tell him that one cannot truly appreciate a home unless they participate in the running of that home. Let him /her know that although s/he might not realize it now, your insistence in his/her participation will make him/her into a less selfish person.

As s/he grows, these skills will help him/her learn to cooperate in a group, be a collaborative member in the work place and a positive participant in a relationship. Let him/her know that participation is not negotiable, but you will accommodate him/her in any way that you can. You would prefer if s/he participates willingly but s/ he must participate in any case. Hopefully with time and lots of positive reinforcement, s/he will be more willing to participate positively.

There are times when we have to ask our children to do things that they are not be excited about. However, you can create an atmosphere that shows kids that there is a positive side to these things. There is often a side that they might not have considered. Chores are only one aspect of their lives that they learn from and apply to other areas of their lives. Teaching our kids to appreciate the things that they may feel negative about will not only help us to get a cleaner house with a better attitude but will teach them to develop new perspectives on any challenges that they may face in the future.

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