How to Proceed When Your Children Stop Doing Their Homework

Don’t we just love to jump to conclusions when we find out our children aren’t doing their homework? Don’t we surmise that our once precious child has become lazy, irresponsible, and just a plain old good for nothing?

Whoa, let’s take a step back for a minute and survey the situation.

There are many reasons that a child may not be doing his/her homework. However, a child who is reasonably conscientious and responsible doesn’t usually turn overnight into a lazy good for nothing! Let’s take a look at some of the reasons this may be happening.

Look at the Whole Child

Look at the whole picture before you jump to conclusions. Many times there are imperceptible changes happening in our kids’ lives that we may not be aware of. It’s not that our kids are necessarily adverse to doing their homework, but sometimes there are emotional events that are overwhelming them.

As children develop and mature so do the complexity of their social interactions. When they are not doing well socially it may have an effect on their ability to focus. If you get a shaking down from a superior at work, you will probably not be doing your best work that day. Let’s give our kids the benefit of the doubt.

Parents that recognize that something may be bothering their children, can prevent many difficulties later on. Remember that kids are often inexperienced in navigating the world around them and finding solutions to their problems.

If one of your children is not doing their homework, take a walk with him/her and ask how things are going in school. Do not pressure your child to answer, but give him/her time to think and talk. Ask about recess and who his friends are.

If your child is reluctant to talk, you can tell him/her a story about something that happened to you when you were a child and things weren’t going so well for you. As you acknowledge your difficulties as a child, your child may feel more comfortable divulging his difficulties and fears.

If you sense that s/he is having social difficulties in school, don’t hesitate to involve your child’s teacher or social worker. If you sense a deeper issue seek out professional help.

Take my Quiz: What is your Kid Connection IQ?

Adjusting the load

If a child is fine socially, there may be other factors. Some kids have a long day at school and having extra work to do when they get home can be more than overwhelming. If this is the case with one of your children, you may end up having fights about doing their homework.

Again take a step back and see if the added work at home may be causing your child undue stress. If your child is having difficulty handling the load, speak to your child’s teachers and see if the work can be modified in some way.

Perhaps your child can do five problems for homework instead of ten. Perhaps his teachers will be willing to break down the assignment into parts that s/he can do over a few days.

This doesn’t have to be a permanent arrangement. However reducing the load, and then adding to it bit by bit can help your child slowly adjust to a greater workload.

Schedule a Set Time to Make Sure Your Kids Are Doing Their Homework

Coming home from a long day can be hectic for everyone in the family. There are chores to do, dinners to make, homework and then baths and bed. It is easy for kids to lose track of time. Who hasn’t heard as you tuck your child in for the last time and are about to turn off the lights, “Mom I forgot to write my narrative essay.”

Not all kids have built the inner discipline to sit down and do their homework without reminders. On a busy day with many interruptions, the time can pass and homework is forgotten. So what’s the solution? Setting a time to make sure that the kids are sitting down and doing their homework.

If your kids need to come home and chill for a while before they are ready to work again – give them time. I certainly need a break when I come home from a long day at work.

Have a snack ready, let them play and only then tackle homework. You can also give them an early dinner, some time to play and then homework.

The point is that kids should know that every day they have a clear, set time to do homework.

Devices

I hear parents every day tell me that instead of doing their homework, kids are on their devices. Our technology has brought great advances but at the same time has caused challenges for us as parents.

Of course, we give our kids phones because “everyone has them” However few kids are disciplined enough to manage their own usage.

We as parents have to set boundaries here as well. Perhaps a child is only allowed to use his/her phone once all homework is done. This is also tricky because sometimes a child will rush doing their homework so that they can use their phones.

Again you have to see what works for your child. Perhaps s/he can play for a half hour when s/he gets home and then put the phone in a safe place until after you have checked the quality of the homework.

A Set Place

Finally, some kids are likely to throw their books down and do homework anywhere they land. Although this may work for some kids it will be too distracting for others.

It is a good idea to have a set place to do homework. It could be the dining room table or kitchen table but it should be an area that is well stocked with all the supplies your child may need. Having a set place with a set time will go a long way to create a conducive focused time to do homework with less anxiety.

I hope that the above steps have helped you to identify some of the things that will help get your children into the cooperative mode of doing their homework without force. The time that you take to go through the steps above and implement them will save you stress later.

Hoping that you have enjoyed these tips and please like and share with your friends